September 7, 2012
This is going to be a defining moment in our relationship.
This is the post where you will be forced to decide for yourself,
am I to be admired for being such an enthusiastic cookie decorator
or am I to be pitied and sedated for being oUt oF ConTroL.
Judge me if you must.
Last week Hillary, the Cookie Countess, whom I choose to call Her Majesty, My Friend, shared a photo over on Facebook of the new Paul Frank toys McDonald’s is currently offering in their Happy Meals including this Julius tin and standing calendar.
As soon as I saw her photo of my most favorite monkey boy in the whole wide world the synapses in my cerebral cortex lit up like an apron on fire. My first thought . . . “I love Julius.” My second thought . . . “Those would make awesome cookie cutters! I don’t have a Julius cookie cutter! I need a Julius cookie cutter! I must have one! I must have one now!”
There was just one problem. I didn’t want a Happy Meal. With all due respect to McDonald’s, where I ate my weight in Fish Fillet Sandwiches by the age of 16, I don’t do happy meals and going and adopting a child to feed a Happy Meal to just so I could rip the toy from their chubby little hand seemed a little extreme even to me but still, I would not be deterred. I wanted Julius and some of my other cookie friends wanted Julius and so Julius it would be!
And then guess what happened! Go on! Guess!
Standing in front of the counter under the Golden Arches I discovered with a joy so profound that a squeal escaped me before I could stop it, that you can buy a Happy Meal toy without buying a Happy Meal!
And so I did.
Yeh, I know. Shades of Little Miss Muffin Surprise Pets. I know that’s what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I have no impulse control. You’re thinking I don’t know when to stop. You’re thinking I’ve only scraped the surface of the bottomless pool of personal issues in therapy.
But wait. Before you judge me, you should probably know something else.
I bought that first pile of Julius cookie cutters hidden in the guise of tins and standing calendars and then . . .
I went back.
And I bought more.
Commence judging, but while you’re sketching out an effective treatment plan for my mental health I’m going to continue on as though this behavior is completely rational and normal. Because in my world it is. And unicorns fly over marshmallow clouds.
To transform my Julius tin and standing calendar into bona fide cookie cutters I first punched a few holes into the bottom half of the tin using an ice pick as well as cutting a handle on the top of the plastic calendar top with a box opener. These openings let the trapped air escape, allowing the cookie dough shape to be easily released from the cutter.
Once the punching and cutting was done it was all about making Julius cookies.
Brown sanding sugar = monkey fuzz
Which one is not like the others?
I love my Julius cookies and they were so fun and easy to make. In fact, the only thing more fun than making Julius cookies is . . .
wait for it . . .
wait for it . . .
giving away Julius cookies!
Yep! These little guys are all bagged and boxed and ready to come to one of your homes to play.
Here’s all you have to do to enter to win . . .
Are you ready? Pay attention.
Right now, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re with,
make like a monkey for 10 seconds. I’m not talking some little half-hearted “ooo ooo” under your breath. Oh noooooo.
I’m talking full out monkey! And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about so reach up right now and scratch the top of your head with your right hand while you scratch under your left arm with your left hand and go monkey crazy. For 10 looooooong seconds.
At the office.
In your kitchen.
Waiting in line at the grocery store.
In the dentist’s waiting room.
Just do it. NOW.
Call on your inner monkey, chimpanzee, orangutan or ape and get your funky primate on!
Once you’ve monkeyed for 10 seconds, just add a comment below saying “I did the monkey!” and then on Sunday around mid-day (PST) I’ll choose one name randomly and announce the winner here and on Facebook.
Oh. And I almost forgot. After giving away the piles of Julius tins and standing calendars to some of my equally cookie cutter crazy friends I ended up with five sets left over and so if you’d like me to send you one of the sets, enter a separate comment that reads, “I love me some Julius.” Same deal. On Sunday I’ll draw five names randomly and announce the winners here and on Facebook.
You know what I love about this giveaway?
To enter to win you, a responsible grown adult, have to pretend to be a monkey which makes you somewhat crazy too.
I love that. It makes me feel all warm and squishy inside.
Oh, and I should mention this contest is only open to those
monkeys people living in the United States. I don’t know…maybe I should have told you that upfront but those of you living outside of the U.S. might not have monkeyed had you known and to monkey to win cookies is one thing, but to monkey with no chance of winning….oh….here comes another rush of warmth and squishiness.
Monkey See, Monkey Do
Do the monkey!