December 28, 2012
A couple weeks ago I saw this . . .
Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride Tea. Are you kidding me?!
How gullible do they think we consumers are anyway?
Tea that tastes like sugar cookies. Impossible!
I hardly ever buy tea because no matter how promising the flavor name might be, the taste of every tea falls under two general categories. There’s the flavor category of 1) used dishwater tea which includes all variations of black and green tea, and 2) week old slightly fungified flower vase water tea which covers all herbal teas and any loose tea with visible chunks of dried anything present such as orange rinds, tree bark, or seedless pods from a rare Argentinean bristle bush.
And yet while I personally find nothing appealing about slurping back a cup of dirty dishwater or rancifying flower water, there are still times when I can’t help giving in to the hype that drinking tea is more healthy than a bitter brew of dragonbreath-inducing, nerve-quaking espresso. So I buy the box of tea and feel all superior about the inspiring steps I’ve taken toward self-care. Then I toss the box of tea on the top kitchen shelf beside the two bottles of half-used Kikkoman Soy Sauce and drop an espresso capsule into our Nespresso machine and call it a day.
The point of all this is to tell you I’m not easily won over by tea. I’m not one who finds inner peace at the bottom of a tea cup. I don’t meditate between sips of camomile. I don’t chant over oolong. I don’t own a tea cozy. I don’t even know how long I’m suppose to keep the tea bag steeping in the water. I just leave them hot-tubbing in the cup until the tea water is a pretty color so that at least it has something going for it in its favor.
That is the story of me and tea until Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride herbal tea because I’m here to tell you the name isn’t an empty marketing ploy meant to toy with your emotions. A cup of this stuff smells and tastes just like sugar cookies, and not any old sugar cookies but those super soft Lofthouse sugar cookies with the pink icing and sprinkles that make my heart (or is it my arteries?) skip a beat every time I pass them by in the grocery store bakery.
If you don’t like tea but you love sugar cookies, this is your tea. I would not lie to you.
After drinking this amazing sugar cookie tea for a few days and realizing it was a seasonal tea I decided I better stock up while the getting was good so back I went to the store to get a few more boxes not knowing my spouse had added sugar cookie tea to her own shopping list.
Our combined shopping led us to having a stock pile of six boxes of sugar cookie tea which would be more than enough for any one else, unless they happen to be like me and if that’s the case, God bless their sweet little hearts. Yep, with six boxes of tea now filling up the top shelf of our kitchen cabinet, I went online and ordered six more boxes just to be absolutely certain that when I was craving a glass of iced sugar cookie tea long about mid-summer I’d have a sufficient inventory of tea bags to satisfy my thirst quenching need.
So I ordered the six additional boxes of sugar cookie tea online but on the day the UPS trunk stopped in front of our home and handed us our delivery I realized I’d made an online shopping blunder because instead of delivering six boxes of sugar cookie tea, the UPS guy came to our door with six cases. That’s right. Somewhere between the online store and paypal I had inadvertently upped my order.
720 tea bags.
Go ahead and laugh at me. I know you want to and I suppose I deserve it.
And while you’re laughing I’m going to go pour myself another cup of tea.